A few of my friends have commented on this lately, whether out of curiosity or a real-life issue.
I've seen a state of desperation with one female, who doesn't realize in her own insecurity she's holding a red flag up in front of a bunch of female bulls. Yeah, we know 'you' claim him, but the most important question is 'will' he claim you ? May have a problem since 'your guy' described you as ' a dog trying to piss on a tree and mark her territory'....
Then there are those who have absolutely no idea what the definition of Love truly is... I love your dress, your hair, your boob job, all the hours you spend on yourself 'for me', etc... It never gets pass the material, the superficial or the bow on the package. Actually, it doesn't care too. It's all about lust, sex or the next intriguing, adventurous encounter. Us ladies do it too.. what type of job does he have, how much money does he make? How big is 'the package' ?
When we put all these things together, we have the state of relationships today. We really need to re-define what Love is all about, and perhaps look at ourselves as to why we haven't found it, why we've settled for the semblance of it, or if he/she was ever it in the first place.
Yes, for some, it has not been God ordained as 'the time'. Some are unhappily married, blaming God for NOT being able to get out of the mess they made for themselves. Here's what I believe is the deal for that... You have free will.. God doesn't force anyone, nor can many claim that God (in His infinite mercy) put them together. The guy decided it was time, you wanted to have kids, you both said...okay, let's get married. Neither one of you considered the true issues and characteristics of compatability past agreeing to walk the aisle together.
For others you're own immaturity, has had allowed many blessings to slip through your hands. You look on the outside, and assume you can change what's on the inside to adjust to what you need. * News Flash* People are who they are, eventually the true self comes to the surface. As the relationship matures it's less about your approval, and more about their need to be themselves.
And then there's that thing about God having the best since of humor in the Universe. I mean honestly, who created laughter in the first place.
You don't like brunettes, your God-ordained soul-mate is the brunette who sits 2 desks over.
He's the big, juicy guy who lives in your building, and is always helpful, but you really like guys who are 'cut'... *We all do it.. God's revealing to me as I write -you 'Guilty' too.
Love may not be what you learned from a dysfunctional family, as the majority of families are.. love is trust, love is knowing regardless of health, wealth or strength, that your partner has your back; love is being able to be vulnerable; love is accepting their outside to get to, their inside; love is first being able to love yourself. And that means in many cases, we need to do some work on ourselves, before we invite company into our misery.
My belief system decrees that you must first love God as God first loved his church,exemplifed by the Lord making the ultimate sacrifice in sending his son to earth. Uou must then use that example to love yourself, and as a man love your mate as yourself. If you wouldn't willing 'hurt' yourself, you will NOT willingly hurt your mate. Ladies and gentlemen if your significant other can do this,running in the opposite direction may be a plan !
Love is also knowing when to walk away. Love and trust God when he's nudging you in the opposite direction. I believe that when you are with someone you know is wrong for you, you keep 4 people from being happy. You, your significant other, and those two other people who are truly meant for you both.
In closing relationships are difficult enough with all the compromises, issues, outside forces, mis-communications and life to deal with, so first and foremost, work at having LOVE.
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